They can’t all be winners. And even the winners can’t all be for me.
Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer
My older sisters read them but weren't impressed. I read the first page and never read any more. I just didn’t care. I saw the first movie and have no recollection of what I thought. But I never watched any of the other ones, so I guess it was a big ol’ pass.
Now that Midnight Sun (Twilight rewritten from the guy's perspective) is released, I’ve reevaluated my dismissal of the books and I still feel the same. I know those books meant the world to a lot of girls and led many towards reading. Good for them. I will forever be glad that I never used that lane.
Could I be convinced to read them? If someone wants to pay me a hundred bucks per book, sure; I’d read and review them. I’ll admit that there is the slimmest of slim part of me that is ever-so slightly tempted to read Midnight Sun. If it magically appeared on my doorstep, I’d give it a go because if I finished it, it’d make an excellent rant review.
IT by Stephen King
Creepy clowns, sewers, and horror are some of my least favorite things. I have not seen any adaptation but the impression I have about IT is not something I want to spend over a thousand pages reading in detail.
Could I be convinced to read IT? I have not read any King yet, so if I discover that he’s my new favorite author, I might try IT.
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
All I know about this book is that it follows this teenager and a lot of people hate him. Also my mom had to read it in high school and she was not amused. I don’t often follow the reader crowd, but I’m guessing this is one of those times when they’re right.
Could I be convinced to read it? Maybe if Richard Armitage narrated the audiobook, I’d give it a chance. Otherwise, I’m perfectly content to never read it.
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
I’ve dabbled in dystopian books and decided it’s not the genre for me.
What I’ve heard of its writing style makes me think I would not like it.
But the main reason is: the premise is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe in the pre-internet days when this book was written the possibility didn’t seem too far off. But now, you can’t say anything bad about women without being called a misogynist, so there’s no way their rights would cease to exist. I read several reviews saying that no backstory is given on how this oppressive society came to be, so even the author isn’t sure how it could happen. Other reviews said it puts women in the demeaning lifestyle of the Old Testament. To which I’d say, “Ah. You don’t understand the Old Testament.” Another reviewer said it’s a reminder to not let “a right-wing Christian theocracy” take over. Again, they don’t understand the Bible.
That said, today women’s rights are being taken and they’re not saying a thing. They can’t go to concerts, run the Boston marathon, stay in a Disney hotel, show their faces, keep their “non-essential” job, etc. But it’s not just women. It’s everyone.
Could I be convinced to read it? No.
Anything by Leigh Bardugo
I tried reading and listening to Shadow and Bone but it did not grab me. As for the Six of Crows duology, I don’t care. I know everyone loves them, but that means I probably won’t. The only thing I ever hear is how great the characters are and how beautiful the writing style is. I find it suspicious that the plots are not popular topics. A flowery writing style and character types I’ve seen elsewhere (Kaz is basically Locke Lamora) are not enough to tempt me. Even in the face of the upcoming adaptation, I still have no desire to read any Grisha books. And from what I’ve heard of Ninth House, that is not my kind of book.
Could I be convinced to read her work? Nope.
The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins
Again, not a dystopian fan. I sat through all the movies and that was not a great experience. Splitting the last book into two movies destroyed their likability even more.
It’s such a drab, lackluster, trope-y story. Or maybe that’s just the movies’ faults for having the atmosphere of a sad raincloud. I don’t remember being excited or caring a fig for the problems they faced.
Katniss has all the personality of soggy cardboard and all the other people made no lasting impact. The only character I sorta liked was Finnick, but that’s more to do with the actor being cute than with the actual character being good.
I’m just glad the teenagers-starting-a-revolution-in-a-lifeless-future trope died. For now.
Could I be convinced to read them? Even with the recently released prequel, I think the time has come and gone for when I should’ve read it. And I just don’t care.
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