The last time I gave six fantasy books fifty pages to impress me it went quite well. For me, if not for most of the books. So here I am again, whittling down the list of books I thought I was interested in, in the hopes that I find something good.
Before we start, I’d like to make a general petition for authors to stop making teenagers the protagonists in adult books. Please and thank you.
The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman
These fifty pages went by real quick. But is that a good thing?
As I discovered in my last fantasy showdown, the faster the start, the better I like it. This has the fast start and I learned where the plot is going. I always like it when I don’t have to reread the description to remind myself what a book’s story is.
The writing style is immediately apparent and it’s quite distinct. It’s an irreverent, relaxed tone and the narrator—it’s in first person—addresses the reader and makes casual remarks about the world and the people; it makes the whole thing more personable. It’s different and I appreciate the deviation from the norm. But it’s trying a bit too hard with its weird words, custom calendar (with new names for the days), and almost cheeky attitude.
Ultimately I found myself not caring. I read it at night and the next day I felt no desire to continue.
This book is for a particular type of person (i.e. immature adults who see tasteless jokes as good entertainment) and I’m not one of them.
The Rage of Dragons by Evan Winter
Boo. Boooooooo.
I forced myself to reach the page limit so I could give a fair account of this hot garbage.
I’ve previously mentioned my disdain for prologues and this one did nothing to alter my disdain. It has info-dumping, people I don’t care about, and names/words I can’t pronounce which all start with the same letter—without the glossary I would be lost. I think it’s a bad idea to start with a battle the reader has no stake in, especially when it takes place almost two hundred years before the main story. On top of that, it’s almost twenty-five pages, which makes me hate it more.
The queen in the prologue is an idiotic dictator. She thinks, “The council needed leadership, not discussion, not consent, not compromise.” And when one of her people suggests surrender (since their warriors are being massacred), the queen has her thrown into prison for voicing her reasonable opinion. Is this what passes for ruling in this world?
And the writing. The writing! I can’t believe this got published.
In the first chapter these guys are sparring at the edge of a cliff (why so close to danger? don’t know) and it says the water is “far below.” But the narrator says, “the ocean was loud enough to set his teeth chattering.” A guy yells from close by and his words are “indistinct,” but then a page later he hears a girl “tittering.” Water can’t be far away and yet loud enough to cover yelling. And why are his teeth chattering?
Then we have this golden line: “Remember, both of you,” Aren said, “by attacking, you push your opponent to defend.” That’d be funny if it wasn’t so painfully obvious.
I feel like the editor just didn’t care. Example: “The storage barn was large, but its interior was tight, crammed with shelves, most empty. That was bad. It was almost Harvest, and if the storehouse was any indication, the Omehi would have trouble feeding their people.” This makes no sense. If it’s almost harvesting time, wouldn’t you want the barn to be empty so you have room for the new food? It’d be bad if you have loads of food arriving, no place to put it, and it winds up spoiled. Unless there’s some blight killing all the food here, I think there’s no cause for worry.
And then there’s this fight scene that is the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. The narrator (who was sparring a few pages ago) stabs at this girl’s heart, she doesn’t move, the sword “ripped her insides,” “her lifeless body” falls to the ground and the guy’s reaction is “I—I hurt her, I think.” He tried to decapitate her earlier, but now he’s shocked that a pierced heart kills her. This is the first time he’s killed someone, but as a training soldier, you’d think he’d know the difference between injury and death. The logic on display is just…wow.
The author tries to be unique with his world-building but it’s real dumb. He uses “cycle” in place of year. To me, “cycle” is a fairly short time (moon cycle, menstrual cycle, washing cycle) and this is clearly the author’s thinking too, because that word—with it’s new definition—is in the glossary. Here, the word “stride” is an official measuring term and a wall “was nine strides high.” I assume a stride is a yard, so why not say a yard/meter? There comes a time when inventing new words/meanings of words is a hinderance, not a benefit. He also uses the word “hamlet” several times and since that’s a very English word, it doesn’t fit the Africa-inspired setting. To me, that shows a disregard for the world-building.
This book is published by Orbit. They are one of the top publishers in the fantasy/sci-fi genre. I’ve read and enjoyed many of their books. All those responsible for letting this book hit the shelves in such an unacceptable state deserve to be fired and this author needs to find editors who will do their job.
The Tiger and the Wolf by Adrian Tchaikovsky
First of all, 10/10 cover.
This does not have a quick start, but I like it.
The main contributor to that liking is the setting; it reminds me of the game Skyrim, with its snowy mountains, numerous lakes, packs of wolves and an overall harsh, yet beautiful, environment.
The people of this world can turn into a certain animal (wolf, bear, deer, etc.) at will and with that ability comes an intense tribal-ness. But the main girl, and daughter of the chief, can become a wolf and a tiger, which has led to her being an outcast.
One thing I don’t like is the “I’m different and therefore everyone must shun me” trope. I know this is a tribal world where obvious differences may not be taken kindly, but there has to be someone in her village who doesn’t see her as a leper. And her specialness is basically the go-ahead to save the world, as per fantasy tradition, and from what I know of her—which is fairly little, but still—she may not be the kind of protagonist I want to follow for a long time.
There hasn’t been a lot of dialogue but two of the characters have potential to be fun/lively sorts. The dialogue seems more old-world, which is nice (no modern swearing here!).
It’s mostly description and inner monologues, which some writers can do well and others can’t. I think this guy can.
I’m gonna give it another fifty pages.
*Update* I read the next fifty (after trying the other books on this list) and while it does take second place, I haven’t found a strong reason to continue. I don’t have any major faults with the writing or world-building, but I’m not caring about the people. The two that I thought I might like may still turn out to be likable, but it’s chiefly the main girl I don’t care about. She’s the “strong and independent” and “I don’t want to be used in someone’s scheme” type and once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. I think it’s probably a good book, but it’s not for me.
The Poppy War by R. F. Kuang
No. And here’s why.
This is the story of a girl who wants to escape an arranged marriage to a guy she’s never met, so she miraculously learns enough to enter this prestigious military school.
The people are idiots and I don’t want to read about idiots.
These students (again, why use teenagers in an adult book?) enter a garden and see some flowers. It takes a moment for two of the fifty kids to recognize the flower as a poppy. However, in this world there have been two Poppy Wars, and opium is such a serious and ubiquitous problem, it has been banned from the school. How in the blazing world do these “educated” kids not instantly recognize this flower? It’s not as if it resembles a thousand other blooms. Also, one kid smells the poppy and says, “Gross.” Poppy’s either have no scent, or one that is not described as gross, so I doubt the author did her research. There are other problems with the garden which further show she doesn’t know what growing conditions plants need.
I skipped ahead a bit just to get a feel for what else happens, because the beginning is kinda boring.
The protagonist gets her period for the first time at the school and freaks out. She doesn’t want this weakness and would be so embarrassed if someone saw blood on her clothes and “She needed to fix this problem.” So she takes this concoction that kills her womb. And um…that is awful on multiple levels. It’s sending the message that womanhood is a problem, physical mutilation is acceptable, and you can only succeed in your profession if you’re sterile. And her reasoning is completely hypocritical given what happens a few pages later:
She began to burn herself again. She found release in the pain; it was comforting, familiar. It was a trade-off she was well used to. Success required sacrifice. Sacrifice meant pain. Pain meant success.
She stopped sleeping. She sat in the front row so that there way no way she could doze off. Her head ached constantly. She always wanted to vomit. She stopped eating.
She made herself miserable.
But she can’t handle a few days of discomfort due to her period? She would rather deprive her body of its essentials than rise above the challenges of being an actual woman? What a pathetic idiot. And you’re telling me that in this world, there’s no painkiller (aside from narcotics) that could ease her period symptoms? That is flat-out unbelievable and a serious hole in the world-building.
I know the pain of a period is different compared to other pains. I also know that “mind over matter” can greatly reduce the pain. But I guess that’s just too hard for this girl.
But the misery she felt now was a good misery. This misery she reveled in, because she had chosen it for herself.
Why doesn’t she choose to accept her period? Done. Then she wouldn’t have a dead organ inside of her doing who knows what to her body. And if you revel in misery, there’s something seriously wrong with you.
I’ve never liked Asian cultures and this book vindicated that opinion.
As for the writing style and description: they’re fine. Better than The Rage of Dragons and that’s a fair comparison because both are debut novels. But that doesn’t matter because this one also has nothing worth reading.
I’ll leave you with this: the protagonist is inspired by Mao Zedong, the guy who makes Hitler look like a saint.
Retribution Falls by Chris Wooding
Now we’re talking.
This is by far the funnest and best book on this list. It’s a steampunk/sci-fi fantasy and has electricity, guns, flying ships and metal prosthetics, to name but a few of its eccentricities. Some might compare it to the tv show Firefly, but I’m thinking it’s more of a lighthearted version of the game Dishonored, especially in its setting. I love that game, so this is a huge plus.
It’s about this captain of an aircraft who gets a job to steal some jewels and, in reward, an obscene amount of money. Since the captain may be more out for himself than the typical hero, he not only cares more for his ship than the crew, he’s also considering not splitting the reward with them.
The crew all have their own secrets and troubles, some of which maybe bring too much danger upon the ship.
The writing is straightforward; I have no major trouble picturing anything.
The dialogue is pretty good and it has humor, which I also appreciate.
I want to know more about this crew and if the captain takes the money for himself. I’m sure there’ll be bonding before then, but I wouldn’t mind seeing my expectations subverted.
*Update* Full review
His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik
Several years ago I read a book by this author (Uprooted) and thought it was okay, though not nearly as good as it could’ve been. I tried another of her books (Spinning Silver) and didn’t get very far because I didn’t care about what was happening. Those two experiences led me to believe that maybe the author doesn’t write compelling female narrators. Since this book is narrated by a guy, I thought it might be better.
This is a Napoleonic War-inspired story, but with dragons. The lead, Captain Laurence, finds a dragon egg on a captured French ship. Once it hatches, he’s dismayed when it forms an attachment to him, thus derailing his naval career. Now he must train with the dragon so they might be of aerial use in the war.
A reviewer compared Laurence to Norrington from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. I like Norrington, so this helped induce me to read this book. But I found out that Norrington is a much better character.
The dragon seems like a fine character but when I asked myself if I cared to read more about him, the answer was, “No. I don’t.”
As I read my small portion, it was perfectly enjoyable and reminded me of the Horatio Hornblower movies, which I like. But after sleeping upon the matter, I found I no longer had a strong desire to continue. Everything’s bland and merely serviceable instead of enticing.
Then I remembered something.
My sister read Spinning Silver and, while I don’t remember her exact thoughts on the story, she said it read as if a computer wrote it. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but when I concluded the fifty pages of this book, it made perfect sense. Ostensibly it has all the makings of greatness. But it has no soul, no life. Everything’s there, and yet nothing is.
Perhaps this is one of those times when an adaptation would be better than the books.
Once again this is a wonderful success. I love being able to try so many different books and dropping them without a care. I think I have enough books to do another round of this, and then I might move to another genre.