Genre: Fantasy
Series: The Wheel of Time #1
Page Count: 750 (30hrs)
Publication Year: 1990
Publisher: Tor Books
Summary: The longest chase scene ever.
First off, this is better than I expected. But that’s not much of a compliment since my expectations started low.
The story is the standard Chosen One goes on a quest to defeat the bad guy. Except at the start he doesn’t know he’s The One and he spends almost the entire book running away from his enemies.
Despite the so-so plot, it’s kinda fun. It didn’t take long for me to acclimate to the world and once I did, I enjoyed myself. I listened to the audiobook at 1.5 speed and the narrators did a great job making that time feel even shorter and the warts stand out less. I know it wouldn’t have been nearly as good if I’d read it myself (I probably wouldn’t have even stuck with it).
A big part of the story is the world building. It’s more engaging than I expected but intense world building has never been a big draw for me. At one point a character gives backstory on a magical thing and he says it’s not a story to be rushed but when he finishes telling it, I could’ve summarized it in a couple sentences. I know this isn’t the sprinting type of story—it’s the arduous journey type—but unless the history/legend is important and not background noise, I’d rather not hear it. But if I have to, keep it short and snappy.
Rand, the head protagonist in this book, has all the personality and substance of Wonder Bread. He only survives due to dumb luck and warriors to guide him. He’s boring and he has no charm, no wit, no mystery, no spark. He isn’t even allowed to protect the women; they throw his concern back in his face and scoff, “Men.” He’s a walking plot device and foil for the baddies.
Mat. *chuckles dispiritedly* Oh Mat. What an idiot. For a second I thought he might be fun, and then the illusion dropped and I wanted to strangle him. Thoughtless, reckless, harebrained, annoying, and whiny are just a few choice words to describe him. And of course he manages to pick up a cursed item.
Perrin is by far the best out of the five main-ish characters. He’s not an outright fool and he doesn’t charge headfirst through life. There’s this thing that happens to him which makes his future the most interesting (it also reminded me of The Farseer trilogy by Robin Hobb).
Moiraine, Nynaeve, and Egwene are slight variations of the same person. I saw a review that said Jordan’s women are either “whiny and snotty” or “emasculating ice queens” and I don’t doubt that’s true. Whenever someone is told to stay put, go away, not interfere, and that person disobeys because they’re feisty, stubborn, rebellious or something similar, I HATE THEM. And if they’re emotionally cold and aloof with no sarcasm to enliven things, I don’t care what happens to them. So basically I don’t like any of the women, which doesn’t surprise me. I’ve also heard that Nynaeve gets even worse and that scares me.
Lan and Thom are the only other people I could see myself caring about, but even they aren’t that great.
It’s like all the characters have one trait to form their personality and that’s it. There’s nothing else there. He has over 2000 named characters and after one book I’m already tapping out. I’ve seen strong characters at the start of a series (and in shorter books) and if he can’t manage it now, I have little hope for a brighter future.
The dialogue is nothing special. I smiled a few times but mostly it seems like anyone could’ve written it.
The description is easy to follow but like the world building, there’s a touch too much for my taste. It really stands out in the clothing, because it seems like every outfit is sketched for you and after a minute they may as well be naked for all I remember of it.
Here are some good bits:
Soot-coated brick chimneys thrust like dirty fingers from heaps of blackened timbers.
He looked askance at the Warder’s sword. “There’s no need for that. I am not a cheese for slicing.”
“Lad, if you’re trying to break your fool neck, don’t do it by falling on me.”
The trees themselves were tortured, crippled things, twisted branches clawing at the sky as if begging mercy from some power that refused to hear.
“You have fled from me many times, and each time I run you down and make you eat your pride with sniveling tears for spice.”
Okay, that last sentence is really good.
Overall, the story is whatever, the prose is average, the characters give humanity a bad rep, and the world building—for all its creativity and depth—is something I don’t really want. However, I’m glad I listened to it. I’ve heard a lot about it—and will continue to with the upcoming tv show—so it’s nice to have some context and knowledge. It really isn’t that terrible, it’s just…well…
This book is a box. It has a good number of sides and it’s overflowing with stuff, but once you see all its contents, it gets boring and repetitive. Maybe this isn’t a fair assumption to make, but I think it’s quite possible the rest of the series is like that too. It’s sturdy, full, and conjures fond memories, but at the end of the day, it’s just a box.
It was an awkward morning, made for unpleasant thoughts.
And if those aren’t enough reasons for why I won’t continue with the series, here’s a few more.
The Length
Thirteen more books? I can’t be bothered. Even listening to the audiobooks at a fast speed it’s still too many hours. I question any one story taking that long to conclude. If it were only seven books, I might be willing to continue, but I can’t imagine a good reason why saving a fictional world needs to take so long.
I Don’t Care what People Say
I know this is one of the most famous/popular fantasy series in the English language, but that does not mean I should read it. I don’t care if the later books are better or if the world is wonderful or the victories so sweet, being a part of this fandom is not important to me. Any peer pressure I may have felt is now gone and unless someone wants to pay me a chunk of dough to finish it, I’m content to never see its finale.
It Didn’t Truly Capture Me
He had 750 pages. That’s more than a fair shot and he still couldn’t hook me. I have read books a quarter as long that resonated with me more. Winnie-the-Pooh hit me harder than this book did.
I’m a little curious to know where a few character wind up, but cruising the internet is faster and, for me, perfectly satisfying.
So tell me, am I the only one who will not finish this series?
Check out my rating here.
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