See my best books of the decade post for the introduction and guidelines concerning these two lists.
I don’t think I’ve said before how much I adore writing rants for terrible books. I will roast books ’til the cows come home. And then I’ll roast the cows for good measure. I am the kind of person to read one-star reviews to judge if I’ll like a book.
If someone says “I love everything about this book,” that tells me nothing. What did you like? Why did you like it? Are you blinded by your love for the author? Are you incapable of giving out one stars because you think it’s too mean? It’s so easy to make blanket statements of love without giving concrete reasons.
But with one stars, you have to defend your side and I like that. I appreciate it when someone goes against the crowd of mindless lovers of everything.
I’ve included the current Goodreads average rating so you can see how unpopular my opinions are.
Buckle up your boots; here come some controversial book picks.
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (2012)
Goodreads rating: 4.23
I’m so happy I can include this book. What would a least favorites list be without this beaut? I almost want to reread it just so I can write a full review dragging this book through the dirt. But I don’t want to put myself through that again. It’s quite the dilemma.
How do I summarize my hatred of this book? I hate Hazel and her negligent parents. I hate Augustus, his lame metaphors and his “deep” conversations with Hazel. I hate Hazel’s inability to understand that going to Amsterdam to basically harass an author is a horrible idea. And I hate the line, “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.” So does needing to use the bathroom. Or sneezing. Or soft sweaters.
Congratulations Green, you’ve made a lasting impression on me.
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (2014)
Goodreads rating: 4.33
I read this shortly after finishing The Grapes of Wrath, which also won a Pulitzer, and Steinbeck was a much more impactful and skillful writer. I cared about his characters and where they ended up. That’s not the case here.
Doerr’s two protagonists (I still don’t know how to pronounce her name) are okay until they meet. The whole plot is okay until they meet. Then it went wah-wah and melted like forgotten butter.
Little things bothered me like the countless French names and the excessive radio/electrical jargon. I know nothing about those things and having to repeatedly stumble across them during the story just decreased my enjoyment.
The quality of the writing isn’t bad; he can write. I didn’t like what he had to say. And it might not even be on this list if it weren’t for those pesky final fifty-ish pages. He closed the curtain and then ripped it viciously aside to show everyone out of their costumes and casually discussing their weekend plans. (That’s an analogy, not what happened.) I didn’t need to know what happened after the official story ended and it trashed the already fragile feelings I had.
There’s this plot item thing that’s the reason for all the people coming together. I think it’s a metaphor for something. What that metaphor is, I don’t remember now. Regardless of what it is, I don’t want to read a story that relies on you to connect arbitrary dots to create the “grand message.” Just give it to me straight.
I should probably feel bad about trashing a Pulitzer. But I’m me. There are no regrets for trashing Pulitzers here.
I did a little research before making these two lists and this book showed up on a couple sites as one of the best books of the decade. Au contraire.
Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas (2012)
Goodreads rating: 4.22
It’s not that I hate this book, but you’d think that an incredibly popular series would have a good beginning. I remember thinking it was okay. Then I tried to read the second book and died of boredom in the first chapter. My biggest issue is that what’s-her-face is supposed to be a great assassin but maybe only kills one person in the whole book. I don’t care what she does in the later books; you have to immediately justify a reputation like hers. But come on. She’s maybe 16 and a great killer? Sometimes I wonder what YA authors are (or are not) thinking.
Darkest Minds trilogy by Alexandra Bracken (2012-14)
Goodreads rating: all of them over 4.20
It’s so bad I didn’t even read the entire last book. I never boarded the YA dystopian train and this trilogy is a sterling example of why. Flat characters, a “special” girl, obligatory underground rebellion, dramatic memory loss, surprise siblings, and people getting kidnapped for extra drama. And I don’t know what happened to Clancy, but I hope that boy had his face smashed in.
The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan (2014)
Goodreads rating: 4.42
And this is where Riordan started to lose me. I’d previously enjoyed his books but this, THIS. It’s a pitiful, whimpering end to an already too long series. They spent hundreds of pages trying to prevent disaster and when the disaster came, it got defeated in short order and had all the impact of a deflated balloon. I want higher stakes and bigger body counts and this one not only took forever to get to the battle but it failed to make me fear for anyone’s life. Disappointing.
Isla and Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins (2014)
Goodreads rating: 4.05
Despite the controversies surrounding the first book in this trilogy, I like it. The second one has cute bits but I have no wish to relive them. And then there’s this book. *smiles with dead eyes* Who enjoys this kind of stuff?
Isla is a spoiled, stupid, indecisive idiot who picked the perfectly forgettable and pathetic boyfriend. Contemporary romances should have, at the very least, a hot guy. What’s-his-name is hot…garbage.
The “predicaments” presented in this story are impossibly shallow and needlessly dramatic. Poor Isla, she’s going to a fancy school in Paris and this boy she has a crush on is distracting her from her lessons. And he’s just perfect and his eyes are gorgeous and I luv him. But our parents don’t want us together and we’re soooooo sad. And how will we be toge- WHO CARES?!?! GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR AND FORGET ABOUT THAT FLAT PIECE OF %&@!#!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CALL A BOYFRIEND. GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*Deep breaths*
Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sword of Summer by Rick Riordan (2015)
Goodreads rating: 4.25
And this is where Riordan lost me. It still has funny moments and other clever things but I found myself not caring. And then I discovered there would be a gender-confused character in the next book and I haven’t touched a Riordan book since. If you can’t accept what your body is, I have less than no time for you.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs (2011)
Goodreads rating: 3.91
I hate this book so much I’ve only read one other YA book (and a YA manga, which doesn’t count) in the past two years. Talk about off-putting.
The main kid is STUPID and doesn’t ask the right questions. Miss Peregrine deliberately doesn’t teach the kids how to protect themselves. Reliving the same day for 70+ years hasn’t made anyone crazy, suicidal, or intelligent. Again, Miss Peregrine refuses to be helpful and jeopardizes everyone because being cryptic is cool. The whole book is stuffed with plot holes and idiots. It’s marketed as being scary and I could not have been less scared if I tried. On top of all that, the movie adaptation is one of the worst adaptations I have ever seen.
My full review is brimming with vitriol.
The Dry by Jane Harper (2016)
Goodreads rating: 4.04
You could use that title to describe every aspect of this book. Here’s my review.
Underwhelming Honorable Mentions
Uprooted by Naomi Novik (2015)
Goodreads rating: 4.09
I like the idea but the execution isn’t so hot. Here’s my review.
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (2011)
Goodreads rating: 4.04
Again, cool idea, lackluster delivery. I have a review for that too.
The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin (2014)
Goodreads rating: 3.99
A book about a bookshop owner should’ve been great. And it started well enough. Then the sappiness took the wheel and drove it to Ughville.
Bad Magic trilogy by Pseudonymous Bosch (2014-17)
Goodreads rating: all over 4 stars
And I thought Hollywood had unnecessary spinoffs. When you have something good, you leave it untouched. The Secret series is good and this one attacked my memory of it. Absolutely unforgivable.
We Were Liars by E. Lockhart (2014)
Goodreads rating: 3.84
The writing style alone is enough to condemn this book.
So much of
it looked like
some bad attempt at
poetry for aesthetically
deranged writers. If this example
bothers you
join the club.
And the people…AH! Save me from such horrifying individuals. I don’t remember them being badly written. They’re just good ol’ fashioned evil. Why would I want to care about them or their twisted fate?
Keep that book far from me.
(I did cry when The Thing is revealed, but only because I’m not quite that heartless.)
The Republic of Thieves by Scott Lynch (2013)
Goodreads rating: 4.23
I’m hesitant to include this book because it’s not a badly written book. But compared to the first two in the series, it doesn’t hold up. I just hope it doesn’t mean Lynch is prepared to take a nosedive in my estimation.
What are some of your choices for the worst books of the decade? You know you have one.
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